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Rejecting Projecting: The Hot Potato Strategy

February 28, 2015 by Treina Aronson

Anxiety, anger and other dark emotions can be contagious. The natural response to uncomfortable emotions is to try to get rid of them. When our partner is experiencing painful emotions sometimes they attempt to give their feelings to us. This is often an unconscious action...

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communication, conflict resolution, couples, defensiveness, marriage, projection,

The “Yes, Dear” Strategy: Why appeasing your partner during conflict is a bad long-term plan

January 20, 2015 by Treina Aronson

Conflict can be painful and difficult. How we feel about and manage conflict is largely formed by the adult caretakers who modeled behavior during our childhoods. If we were fortunate enough to have healthy and mature caretakers, we learned that conflict is a normal part...

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communication, conflict, conflict resolution, couples, emotional flooding, marriage, relationships,

The Introvert Equation: Why small talk can be difficult and what can help

January 10, 2015 by Treina Aronson

A common myth surrounding introverts is that they are intrinsically misanthropic. Yes, there are misanthropes who are introverts, but extroverts can also dislike and distrust humanity. This being said, it is understandable why the terms get intertwined. Though introverts typically enjoy deep and meaningful one-on-one...

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introversion, introverts, small talk,

Book Review: Appetites: Why women want

January 09, 2015 by Treina Aronson

Every once and awhile I peruse my local thrift stores in search of literary gems. Recently, I took a little romp down the musty smelling aisles to see what I could find. Prompted by the search to find a 5th book for my buy 4...

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addiction, appetites, desire, eating disorders, needs, wants, women, women's issues,

How to use writing as a therapeutic tool: Part II

October 24, 2013 by Treina Aronson

Part II: Writing exercises Kathleen Adams in her book Journal to the Self describes how writing “…spreads out before you in black and white the contents of the heart, mind, and soul.” While writing can be quite helpful it is not always easy or painless....

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journal writing, self-editor, therapeutic writing exercises, writing, writing exercises, writing for therapy,

How to use writing as a therapeutic tool: Part I

October 23, 2013 by Treina Aronson

Part I: Overcoming the self-editor Many of my clients ask “Should I be keeping a journal?” Shoulds aside, writing can be a helpful therapeutic tool but only if you can give that pesky self-editor (critic) the cold shoulder. Hint- If you’re hearing a lot of...

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getting rid of self-criticism in writing, journal therapy, self-critic, self-editor, writing, writing as therapy,

All Treatment Interview

October 22, 2013 by Treina Aronson

All Treatment is a web source for Addiction and Mental Health Counseling resources in Washington.   You can see my interview with All Treatment at: http://www.alltreatment.com/wa#29  

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addiction resources, alltreatment.co, mental health resources, washington addiction resources,

Up and running in our new space!

September 18, 2013 by Treina Aronson

At last we are now fully operating in our new space in West Seattle! After a delay in construction which landed us in an awkward space decorated with the most intense royal blue carpeting imaginable, my partner Roz Boyd, LMHC and I are settled into...

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west seattle junction psychotherapy, west seattle psychotherapy,

The Allure of Self-righteous Anger- A choice not a condition

September 02, 2013 by Treina Aronson

On my way to an early morning acupuncture appointment I was keenly aware of being filled with anger- self-righteous anger. My anger was righteous because it was right and legitimate as I had been wronged. I was also aware that my acupuncturist too would know...

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anger, caustic conflict, conflict resolution, releasing negative emotions, self-righteous anger,

Labeling- Deficit or Asset?

September 02, 2013 by Treina Aronson

Is the act of labeling a person beneficial or detrimental? In this post I explore how the answer depends upon whose doing the labeling. Deficit: Labeling as a limited and totalized view of self when looking from the outside Emerging in the 1990’s was the...

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apathy, depression, diagnosis, empowerment, labeling, labels, phenomenology, self-limiting beliefs, symptoms,

The Elusive Fresh Start

July 12, 2012 by Treina Aronson

Anxiously awaiting the newest episode of Mad Men to appear on my Netflix queue I resorted to re-watching the previous season. One particular episode caught my attention as mixed within the whirl of melodrama was some wisdom.  It went something like this: Attempting to explain...

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change, creating change, fresh start, living life to the fullest, new beginnings, transitions,

Self-Acceptance is Freedom Found

January 20, 2012 by Treina Aronson

Carl Rogers authored the beautiful quote: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” A foundational aspect of the work I do with clients encompasses this succinctly profound sentiment.  When a person accepts those unwanted aspects...

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affirmations, change, self-acceptance, shame, social anxiety,

Why Date Nights Fail

January 18, 2012 by Treina Aronson

In any given couples therapy at some point they will likely be given the assignment to set up regular date nights. The reason for this popular treatment tool is because relationships are difficult and without time set aside to reconnect and have fun that’s all...

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couples counseling, date night, emotional connections, marital problems, marriage, relationship problems, relationships,

Isolation vs. Solitude

December 11, 2011 by Treina Aronson

Often people fear the act or desire to isolate themselves; the need to step away, to be alone. While it is true isolation is a symptom and aggravation of depression, what is perceived as isolation may just be the quest for solitude. In our society...

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alone, depression, escape, isolation, solitude,

Horses before zebras

December 11, 2011 by Treina Aronson

Recently while walking home from leaving my 10 year-old car that my mechanic gently corrected was “just resting” rather than dead, I felt overcome by a wave of fatigue. Although the gray season had begun it was an unusually bright sunny November afternoon in Seattle....

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depression, sleep, stress,